Jesus In Outer Space

Have you ever got sucked down an internet rabbit hole?

Sure, you have. We all have.

It starts with a YouTube video or maybe a Wikipedia article, then another one and another one and another and before you know it hours have flown by because you’ve been sucked down an internet rabbit hole you just couldn’t find your way out of.

Well, that happened with me this morning, except my rabbit hole wasn’t Wikipedia or YouTube.

It was pictures of Jesus in outer space.

It started with this picture.

Jesus wept - original

I saw it on a friend’s computer and had to look it up for myself because, well, it’s just too awesome for words.

Well, that picture of Jesus in space led me to this one….

jesus in spaceApparently Jesus is like Galactus the Devourer and the second coming is when he will return to consume our planet.

Who knew?

Then we have the “he’s got the whole world in his flag draped hands” space Jesus.

jesus in space2I’m sure United Nations Jesus appreciates that one.

Not to be outdone, we’ve also got Jesus, King of Outer Space.

jesusinspace4And Jesus the constellation.

jesus in space3When Jesus isn’t holding the stars in place, he’s apparently looking out his heavenly window waiting patiently for his pet bird to come home.

jesusinspace6Better say your prayers Jesus’ pet bird does comes home, otherwise, he gets really sad…..and crushes half the planet.

jesusinspace7But my favorite Jesus in outer space piece of art has to be this awesome Revelation Jesus motorcycle fuel tank.

jesusinspace5

I don’t own a motorcycle, but that custom tank really has me thinking about getting one.

Anyway, that was the journey through space with Jesus I experienced this morning.

I hope it blesses you with the same sort of holy procrastination it offered me.

And if it doesn’t, maybe you need to spend some time in serious prayer and contemplation, trying to understand why you can’t appreciate such glorious works of art.

 

  • http://www.facebook.com/pamela.manners.16 Pamela Manners

    Some days I just can’t seem to get into blog posts that are so deep, it takes me days to crawl back up to level ground. My head actually hurts after reading them. I cheer when I read posts like yours, Zack. Witty people bless me beyond measure, and I am cracking up like a lunatic over here. This is classic. I especially like the Jesus waiting for His pet bird to come home. Somewhere in my Windows Photo Gallery I copied an image of Jesus as a homeless man. Jesus is rockin’ the exact same jean outfit.

    Thanks for the much needed smiles and laughter today, Zack.

  • Marty Gordon

    Jesus and space just go together.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/renzntzman/7522987662/

  • Eric

    Maybe not in outer space, but Warner Sallman’s Jesus is certainly cosmic in “Power and Glory.” He’s also found a lamb to replace that lost bird it seems: http://americangallery.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/power-and-glory.jpg

  • http://abnormalanabaptist.wordpress.com/ Robert Martin

    Dude, my sarcasm warning sensors are going off… better get Jesus the Starship captain and investigate Satan the Romulan…

  • daryl carpenter

    What’s so ridiculous? The Gospel of Luke (in some manuscripts) and the Book of Acts say Jesus ascended into heaven. For ancient people, heaven was a place above the earth. Doesn’t that mean he’s still up there somewhere? Oh that’s right, the ascension is an example of the bible being METAPHORICAL. Jesus was really transported to a parallel dimension or something. Ancient people wouldn’t have understood that, so the bible writers (who were inspired) made in simple for them.

    • http://abnormalanabaptist.wordpress.com/ Robert Martin

      Hrm… we could go into a whole discussion about original language, intention, the existance of heaven/hell, etc…

      …or… we could just say something like “lighten up, dude, and have some fun”

      God has a sense of humor. Prime example: the platypus… nuf said. ;-)

      • daryl carpenter

        Hi Robert

        I appreciate very much the tongue in cheek nature of the post and the light touch of Zack’s blog in general. I’m just interested in how some Christians are able to square bible absurdities with modern science. If Jesus ascended vertically into the sky, does that mean he’s currently in the vacuum of space? If the ascension is to be considered as symbol or metaphor, why isn’t the resurrection a symbol or metaphor? What criteria does one use to decide which is which? It seems to me that the real reason some Christians are willing to view the ascension as metaphorical is that it’s utterly disproved by scientific investigation. But hey, perhaps such issues are for another time…

        I agree the platypus is hilarious, but I think you’ll find that the platypus was created by Loki, the Norse trickster god. I also have a theory that Loki created the Abrahamic religions as a practical joke on human beings. But as with many practical jokes, that one may have gone a bit too far…

        • http://abnormalanabaptist.wordpress.com/ Robert Martin

          A decent push back… but perhaps it’s a little bit of both of what you mentioned.

          See, there’s this concept of “condescension” when it comes to God interacting with humans. He’s God… we’re not. He created us (no matter how you view the means)…we’re the creature. A wise dude once pointed out that it’s rather foolish for the pot to question the potter.

          Another way of looking at it. One of my favorite book series is the Thursday Next novels by Jasper Fforde. It’s rather interesting the concept of going INSIDE fiction and interacting with the characters. But in Fforde’s book we find a similar problem… the characters are acting in specific ways based upon the imagination of the author. As characters, can they really comprehend the mind of the author, or are they living pretty much by the seat of their pants, living by design without necessarily understanding, at least completely, the WHY.

          Such is the case, I think, with the scriptures… and, perhaps, with God’s interaction with people as witnessed. Think about it. You’re standing on a hillside looking at Jesus with all your best buds, suddenly things get kinda foggy and weird and when you look again, he’s gone. You look around, down, all over, and look up and think, “Hey, that looked like a cloud! Maybe Jesus went up.” So, they write it down as “ascended”. Did they see Jesus levitate? Or is the word “ascend” the best word that the guys could come up with to explain what they saw?

          So… I don’t think it’s symbol or metaphor, but simply a human being trying to describe something that they don’t understand. This does not negate the truth… Jesus physically left the planet… but neither does it necessarily state a literal “Jesus caught the nearest flying saucer and WOOSH!” or levitation on a cloud or what not.

          Not everything is literal or metaphor… there’s a gray area in between of the human experience which really makes reading such texts really beautiful as we recognize that these humans didn’t quite get it either and yet it still had a life-changing effect on them and on the rest of the world.

          There… my theological/hermaneutical explanation for the day. :-)

          • http://abnormalanabaptist.wordpress.com/ Robert Martin

            Let me also note that, at least according to the NIV, in the accounts in Mark, Luke, and the book of Acts, it says something on the lines of “he left them and was taken up into heaven”. So… nothing specifically that says “He rose up on a cloud and hovered until he disappeared from site” but more a statement of “He was here, now he’s gone, just like he said, back to heaven.”

          • daryl carpenter

            Hi Robert

            “A wise dude once pointed out that it’s rather foolish for the pot to question the potter.”

            Paul’s reasoning in Romans (which I assume you’re referencing here) is simply ‘God’s bigger than you, so he can do what he wants’ (you can see this also in God’s verbal pummelling of poor Job, (chapters 38-41)). It’s a ‘sit down and shut up’ argument and it’s not impressive. It’s a type of argumentation often used to silence objections as to why God allows gargantuan amounts of suffering and evil to take place in the world. ‘How dare you trouble the divine majesty with such trivial questions! Your puny mind can’t hope to comprehend His ways!’ etc. I suspect this forelock-tugging, we’re damn lucky God tells us anything attitude is a smokescreen that’s put up when difficult questions about God and the bible arise.

            “…You’re standing on a hillside looking at Jesus with all your best buds, suddenly things get kinda foggy and weird and when you look again, he’s gone. You look around, down, all over, and look up and think, “Hey, that looked like a cloud! Maybe Jesus went up.” So, they write it down as “ascended”. Did they see Jesus levitate? Or is the word “ascend” the best word that the guys could come up with to explain what they saw? So… I don’t think it’s symbol or metaphor, but simply a human being trying to describe something that they don’t understand.”

            The picture you paint is that people didn’t have a clue what they saw. But then you say that Jesus leaving the planet was factually true. Isn’t this just having your communion wafer and eating it? Why is one supposed to accept the truth from such inept and unreliable narrators? I’d also ask why the resurrection appearances can’t also be explained in such a way. Why aren’t those narratives the result of the witnesses not really knowing what the hell was happening? Now obviously it goes without saying that the resurrection is far more central to the Christian faith than the ascension, but this doctrinal fact can’t be used to dismiss the possibility that the resurrection appearances could have come from as a similarly unreliable source as the ascension.

            Also, would you allow the same leeway you’ve shown to the bible to someone claiming that the Prophet Muhammad left the planet? All right, they may say, it wasn’t literally on the back of a winged horse as the legends imply (that’s obviously just raw mythology) but the ‘truth’ still stands that the Prophet physically left the planet. If you don’t allow the same leeway, one would have to suppose you’re already assuming the truth of the bible, and therefore your reasoning is circular.

            “Not everything is literal or metaphor… there’s a gray area in between of the human experience which really makes reading such texts really beautiful as we recognize that these humans didn’t quite get it either and yet it still had a life-changing effect on them and on the rest of the world.”

            This is all well and good, but again, would you cut the same amount of slack for other ancient texts that you do for the bible? Are the stories of Apollonius of Tyana or Romulus allowed equal latitude? If the authors of these stories occasionally don’t ‘get it’ or appear ridiculous or garbled or scientifically ignorant, can we just say they were simply confused at whatever they saw, yet still essentially trust their narratives? That seems illogical to me. It’s akin to talking out of both sides of your mouth.

            My hunch is the reason some Christians consider the ascension stories are better explicable when read figuratively is that they are completely falsified by scientific knowledge. Yuri Gagarin proved that when he went up in his rocket and found no sign of heaven or God but just an endless vacuum of space. Now granted, that doesn’t disprove the existence of either (God could have moved heaven somewhere else. He can do anything, right? Mark 10: 27), but it did disprove the ancient cosmology of the New Testament writers that saw the world as essentially three-tiered with stars that hung in a firmament, above which was heaven and God. This outlook they shared with many of their Near Eastern neighbours. It wasn’t stupid; it was pre-scientific. But it was wrong. And rationalising away the problem with attempted part metaphor, part literal readings doesn’t work, IMO.

            As you’ve probably gathered, I haven’t presupposed the truth of the Christian scriptures for my response. Hope that’s not a problem.

  • http://www.arnizachariassen.com/ithinkibelieve Arni Zachariassen

    That’s more of a worm hole than a rabbit hole. *rimshot*

  • http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/ perfectnumber628

    This is awesome.

  • Pingback: Slow change may pull us apart

  • misanthropy_jones

    i am both amused and amazed.
    thanks for sharing these.

  • hf

    Jesus looks ready to kill that dove with a sword in the last one. Certainly the dove is thinking, “Oh sh*t, there’s a giant horse in outer space!”

  • Pingback: Roundup: Dirty Jesus, Mother’s Day, spousal love, and Jesus in outer space | The Jesus Question

  • Terrill

    when I was in the 12th grade I fell asleep on my knees praying for the world it was a cool exsperience because I intented to pray and then get back into my bed but as the spirit was showing me thoes who were not under the blessing I was sorrowed that they were not and under the curse I saw what satan did to have them miss out come the blessings Of Jesus Christ, for instance warmth and warmth alone.The sorrowed moved me into evevn longer paucety before getting in my bed to get some sleep for the night… As it felt like I was on my knees for only 5 minutes this praying beggining I say about 10:00 pm when I opened my eyes about 7:00am I hurd birds churpping and the sun shinning threw my bedroom window ..I fell asleep on my knees.I also recall hearing in spirit..
    come Gods Book of Gooddeeds we saw that.( I believe revelations talk about it there in the bible God’s book of Good Deeds). That Day and Morning resembles the picture uptop where Jesus Christ Is Laying on the Earth and praying for it. Thanks for the opportunity to share!!! Terrill Crookshank, Relic ,T.C

  • Ben Ji Love

    when i was 8 yrs old , i was very sturborn , so 1 day i was crossing the road and car hate me but by the grace of GOD i did not die am still alive , i thank the almighty GOD

  • Terrill

    Come the picture of you Lord up top on the whitehorse I recalled the time I was in 5th grade Hornor Class you spoke Terrill your doing a great Job so far just as good of a Job like your brother in Christ Americas first Black President Barrack Obama and will continue to as I will be there to free you come the Afro/African, Americans who are going to barricade you from the exsravagansa with no you didn’t… As you was saying this you displayed your self like displayed up above on that white horse,actually the same picture! Terrill T.C

  • Pingback: Hitler Poses With Jesus In What Might Be The Worst Painting Ever | The American Jesus