If you’re in need of a job in the tech world, then facebook might be a good place for you to check out. It looks like they’re in need of people to select the appropriate pictures to go along with all those ads that troll along the side of the page.
Then again, maybe I have been WILDLY misinformed as to what Christian therapy is all about. These pictures would explain the high hourly rates that “therapists” charge.
Apparently acronyms in the Philippines don’t mean the same thing they mean in the United States. Either that or they are using 16 year old boys as journalists.
You can read the original article here
It’s March Madness time which means it’s time for all true blooded Americans to neglect their jobs for the next couple of weeks pouring over obscure statistics in order to fill out the perfect bracket and then watch that bracket bust after the first round.
Since we anticipate having our own brackets busted by Friday we’ve decided have some fun before we get depressed.
We’re starting a new tradition and we’re calling it: American Jesus Madness.
It works just like the NCAA Tournament, but instead of basketball teams we’re going to use famous Christians and famous Christian things. We’ve sort of seeded people, i.e. Rob Bell should have an easy match up against the image of Jesus that appeared on a tree recently. However other 1st round matches are a bit tougher, i.e. Terry Jones vs. Westboro Baptist.
It’s completely up to YOU to decided who wins and why. You can vote on who/what is funnier, more important, you can choose the lesser/greater of two evils or choose winners to create awesome match ups in later rounds. You can use any rational you want and feel free to let us know why you chose the way you did.
UPDATE: We’ll have a 1st Round breakdown posted later today so that you can have a better idea about the match ups and who to choose.
Here’s how it’s gonna work:
Below is a bracket we’ve put together. Believe it our not we actually have a prize for the winner! We’re super rich youth pastors, so it’s an awesome $10 iTunes gift card.
If you want to play, then you must print off the bracket below, fill it out by MIDNIGHT THIS THURSDAY, and email it back to us at americanjesusblog@gmail.com (Note: This will probably require you to scan the form or take a picture of it and send us the jpeg) Please include your full name and address with your submission so that we can mail you the iTunes gift card if you win. (All names and address will be deleted upon completion of the tournament)
The tournament will begin THIS FRIDAY morning. (A schedule of match ups will be posted shortly)
We will list and describe the match up and then it is up to YOU to vote on who would win in a head-to-head grudge match. The voting times will be announced with the match up schedule.
You will receive 1 point for every correct winner in the first round, 3 points for the second round, 5 points for the third round, 10 points for the fourth round, and 20 points if you pick the grand champion, or as we are calling it: American Jesus Christian of the Year
The tournament is open to everyone, so help us spread the word on Twitter and Facebook!
Without further ado here is the official American Jesus Madness Tournament Bracket:
You can click on the image above or download a pdf version here: American Jesus Madness Bracket
*In case of a tie we will select a winner out of a hat. Seriously, we own a hat.
**Also, this is obviously the first time we’ve done this so if an unforeseen issue arises please let us know calmly and we will make up an answer for you. REMEMBER THIS IS JUST FOR FUN
Lent begins this Wednesday which means you have less than 48 hours to figure out what you’re going to “give up” for the next 40 days.
It can be difficult trying to figure out just the right thing to give up for Lent. So, in the spirit of good ‘ole fashion American Chrisitanity we have decided to do all the work for you.
Presenting the Top 10 Things You Should Give Up For Lent:
10. Charlie Sheen
Honestly, this might be the most difficult one of all. After all have you read his tweets?? Also, tiger blood is very addicting and we all need something to fight off the warlocks with. But, for the sake of humanity, your soul, and Charlie Sheen you should probably give up Charlie Sheen for Lent.
9. Book reviews for books that haven’t been released
It may be your spiritual gift to decide for others what they themselves think, but can we agree to put that gift on hold at least for Lent.
Of course, this one shouldn’t be too hard as HarperCollins pushed up the release date for Love Wins
Wait a second….doesn’t that mean that love wins is “winning”?? Could it be that Charlie Sheen actually wrote Love Wins?? Or maybe Rob Bell and Charlie Sheen are actually the same person!! Ahh!! My head is going to explode!!
8. The King James Version of the Bible
Speaking of books, can we (and by “we” I mean the fundamentalists) please agree to give up using the KJV as the primary version of the Bible. As shocking as this might be the Bible wasn’t written in King James English. Equally as shocking NO ONE ON PLANET EARTH speaks King James English. Furthermore, thanks to the Dead Sea Scrolls we have MUCH older texts to translate from then King James’ people did.
Long story short it is a profoundly outdated version of the Bible. You can keep using to quote Psalm 23, but can we keep it at that at least for Lent. Or better yet, as Matthew Paul Turner points out this year is the 400th anniversary of the KJV, so in celebration let’s give it up for Lent…….and then never pick it up again!
7. Bieber Fever
Justin Bieber is everywhere. So much so that it has apparently led to the creation of a new disease called “Bieber Fever.” For the sake of public health can we please agree to give up Justin Bieber at least for Lent? After all what’s so great about that amazing hair cut, his boyish charm, catchy tunes, and……..dang it! Now we’ve got Bieber Fever!! Forget it, the Biebs can stay for Lent!!
6. Pretending to see Jesus EVERYWHERE
Apparently Jesus is turning up everywhere lately. He’s been in a rocking chair, a tree, a Cheeto, and even on the back of David Beckham. Considering no one actually knows what Jesus looks like can we please give up seeing Him everywhere, at least for Lent?
5. KFC Double Down
We’re always looking for a food item to give up for Lent. So, look no further than the KFC Double Down. Then again, if eating too many of these sandwiches is a struggle for you then you probably have bigger problems than what you should give up for Lent.
4. The Internet
Tired of getting shown up by all of your friends when it comes to who gave up what for Lent? Then here’s your chance to be the best Christian during Lent this year. Give up the internet! We mean the whole thing. That way when your friends start telling you about how they gave up watching TV, using facebook, or tweeting their every thought you can look down all of them with pride and declare “I have up the whole freaking internet!” After all, do you really need it for anything?
Oh wait, how are you going to read American Jesus?? NEVERMIND!! KEEP THE INTERNET!! KEEP THE INTERNET!!
3. Predicting the Second Coming of Jesus
Don’t get us wrong, there isn’t much we enjoy more than a good Third Eagle of the Apocalypse video. But it seems that everybody else is jumping on the prophecy bandwagon too. Apparently, most of them are in agreement that Jesus is coming back in just a couple of months, May 21st to be exact. Which is really amazing since even Jesus said He didn’t know the date He would return.
So if you’re looking for something easy to give up for Lent try this one, after all it looks like the date has already been figured out for you.
2. Giving up cliche things for Lent that in no way help you grow in your faith
I’ll confess. I’ve been guilty plenty of times for giving up random and inconsequential things for Lent. We all do it. Maybe it’s chocolate, caffeine, or Justin Bieber. (dang that Bieber fever!)
At the end of the 40 days of Lent we pat ourselves on the back for not doing x, y, or z, but in reality what have we really accomplished? Honestly, nothing. The whole idea of Lent is to prepare ourselves for Easter. Self denial during Lent should be about trying to understand in part the self denial which Jesus undertook that led Him to the cross. Sure it might be difficult for a few days to go without a Coke, but if we really want to prepare ourselves for Good Friday and be ready to truly celebrate on Easter Sunday then maybe we should try giving up some of things that Jesus gave up: pride, ambition, greed, hate, jealously, time…..
1B. Shouting
Most of us are pretty good at being polite in public. Or at least we can fate it well. If we disagree with someone it usually takes a long time for the conversation to devolve into shouting. Apparently that isn’t true online. Read something online you don’t like? Then obviously you need to respond in the comment section immediately with slander, WORDS IN ALL CAPS, and as many exclamation marks as possible. Can we all please agree to give this us for Lent, or even better, for ever?
Which leads us to…
1. Hating everyone that doesn’t agree with you
When it comes to Christians hating other people most of us immediately think of groups like Westboro Baptist church or people like Steven Anderson. But the truth is that hating others has become one of the defining marks of the American Church. No funny one liners here. This has to stop. Just because someone in another tradition/denomination/church doesn’t agree with you particular theological outlook doesn’t make them a heretic. The Christian on Christian violence has to come to an end.
Likewise, and perhaps more so, we have to learn to love people outside the church especially when the say and do things we profoundly disagree with. This is life Jesus lived and then called us to “go and do likewise.” This doesn’t mean we can’t or shouldn’t disagree. We can and sometimes we should, but we have to learn to do it with love and respect and that doesn’t mean adding a tag line to your blog comment “i say this in love” followed by “your’re going to hell”. Love has to be practiced not just talked about.
So if we are going to give up for Lent this year let us give up our hate for one another and never pick up it again.
Grace and peace,
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So, I made a visit to Texas this weekend for a theology conference. I had no idea of the amazing array of Jesus stuff I would encounter along the way. There was probably enough amazing Christian stuff in the gas stations alone to warrant creating an entire “Texas Jesus” website.
Anyway, here is one of my favorite things that I found this weekend. It’s a good Christian cowgirl doing what she ‘ought to be doing: praying to Jesus, or at least the cross. What’s nice is that it comes in pink so you cowgirls out there can put it on your truck next to that sticker that says “Silly boys, trucks are for girls.”
As seen at a gas station in Arkansas. … I think the thorns at the top are a nice touch.
That was a search term that led at least 4 people to American Jesus yesterday. Obviously it’s not a ton of people, but still more than enough to be amusing.
Jesus has been showing up in a lot of places lately: an iron, a rocking chair, lots of different pieces of toast.
Well, now it appears He’s making an appearance at a ski resort in Montana. Except this time it’s for real!
From the Billings Gazette:
WHITEFISH — Having made cameo appearances in taco shells and coffee splotches, it should come as little surprise that Jesus — or his likeness — would alight on Big Mountain.
Still, skiers and snowboarders have been known to pinch themselves when they round the bend at the top of Whitefish Mountain Resort’s Chair 2 and, through a miasma of snow and fog, glimpse the statue of Jesus Christ.
Closer inspection reveals that the sighting is not a phantasm, but rather a painted stone figure that, according to a recently installed bronze plaque, has graced the mountain for nearly 60 years.
So clear an account was not always close at hand, however, and the absence of any historical context left skiers confounded by the statue’s inexplicable presence — though curiosities were typically well met with a (sometimes irreverent) photograph beside Christ’s likeness and a humorous story to tell friends.
I just got back from a weekend in Gatlinburg with my youth group. I’ve been there several times before and am well aware of the tacky tourist atmosphere, but I had no idea it was such a hotbed of American Christian paraphernalia. Here are just a few of my favorites.
First up, a couple of tshirts.
This first one isn’t too earth shatteringly amazing, but what makes it more amusing is the fact that it, along with the other shirt, was being sold in a “China Bazaar” along with nunchucks, throwing stars, gunswords (you read that right), and “water pipes.”
Out of the two shirts, this one below was my favorite. Don’t understand the Bible? It’s probably because you aren’t “reading between the lines”.
Finally the piece de resistance. We’ve all seen the family stickers people put on the back of their car windows. Stick figures meant to represent mom and dad, however many kids, and the family dog. This was the first one that I have seen that also thought to included Jesus, or at least the cross. If you look really carefully you can tell it’s a proper Christian family because dad has a tie on and mom is wearing a skirt.
Thank you Gatlinburg for your no cost entertainment.
This may only be amusing to me and the handful of you out there interested in biblical scholarship, but I find it amusing.
Apparently there is a Jesus Seminar conference coming to Salem, OR. Those of you not familiar with this group, allow me to briefly catch you up. Long story short they are a self appointed group of scholars, led by John Dominic Crossan and Robert Funk, which started back in the 80′s as part of an effort to “discover the historical Jesus.” Among the highlights of this group they are most famously known for voting on the sayings of Jesus using colored beads: red means Jesus probably said it, pink means he might have said it, grey means he probably didn’t say it but it contains his ideas, and black means he definitely didn’t say it.
Surprise, surprise there weren’t many red beads.
But that’s not what amuses about this meeting, it’s who the keynote speakers are.
(SALEM, Ore.) – Scholars of the Jesus Seminar will meet in Salem, Oregon at the Salem Conference Center to discuss the origins of Christianity.
Special features of this meeting will include:
None of those people are obviously that interesting, but the last speaker is the real treat….
You know, because nothing says “authority on Jesus” like the guy who directed Total Recall,
N.T. Wright better watch his back…..or get into the movie business.
