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Archives For March 2011

Want More Church Goers? Pay Them!

Zack —  March 23, 2011 — 5 Comments

One church in Ohio is gonna make it rain this Easter…..

Church giving away $1,000 at Easter service

HAMILTON, Ohio (AP) – March 23, 2011 (WPVI) – An Ohio church that gave away $1,000 to fill more pews last Easter Sunday says it will do it again this year.

Lindenwald Baptist Church in Hamilton draws names to award $500 each to a member of the congregation and a guest.

Pastor Randy Moore says the southwest Ohio church had hoped for 1,000 worshippers last year, when it made the offer for the first time. It packed in 1,140 – more than double the usual Sunday attendance of around 500. Moore says a crew had to direct traffic in the parking lot.

Easter falls on April 24 this year. The pastor says given the economy, the church will continue the cash giveaway to provide a financial as well as a spiritual blessing on the holiday.

Found here

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Tract Tuesday- part 21 CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION!

Wes —  March 22, 2011 — 4 Comments

Fresh off of his win over Rick Warren in our first annual American Jesus Madness Tournament, Jack Chick finds himself right where he belongs: gracing our site on Tract Tuesday.  Take us home, Jack.

(As always, special thanks to the good people at Chick Publishing for all their hard work in putting this tract together.)

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And the winner is……

Zack —  March 22, 2011 — 1 Comment

It’s official!! Jack Chick is the winner of the 1st annual American Jesus Madness Tournament!!

And it wasn’t even close:   Jack Chick 92%        Rick Warren 8%

Congratulations are also in order for our bracket winner……Yoav Lubelsky!!

Congrats Yoav, your fabulous $10 iTunes gift card is in the mail. Or it will be after I drop it in the mailbox tomorrow.

Big thanks to all of you that voted and all of you that played along at home. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did and we’ll see you all again this time next year for another American Jesus tourney!

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Uncle Sam Loves Jesus

Zack —  March 22, 2011 — Leave a comment

You don’t get more American Christian than Uncle Sam preaching Jesus. Throw in some ventriloquism and you’ve got a recipe for a good time.

Everything is pretty harmless, although obviously cheesy, until you get around the 2:00 mark when JR the dummy starts praying. Then things get a bit awkward.

Let’s just say JR’s prayer request isn’t very “safe sanctuary” as we like to say in the Methodist church.

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American Jesus Madness – 4 Horsemen Winners

Zack —  March 21, 2011 — 1 Comment

In the closest voting of the American Jesus Madness Tournament we now have our championship game set!

Championship

Jack Chick 54%

Rick Warren 53%

 

It’s Chick vs. Rick!


And here are our new bracket leaders. Remember, the championship game is worth 20 points.

Bracket Leaders

1. Yoav Lubelsky – 51 points

2. Schuyler St. Lawrence – 47 points

3. Delvin Donnely – 28 points

 

Championship voting starts bright and early tomorrow at 9am CST and will last until 4pm CST.

So vote often tomorrow and good luck to everyone!

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American Jesus Madness – Egregious 8 Winners

Zack —  March 21, 2011 — 1 Comment


We’re down to our final 4 Horsemen of the Apocalyse!

Remember, voting for the 4 Horsemen round will begin at 1pm CST and end at 4pm CST.

4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Westboro Baptist  78%

Jack Chick 97%

Rick Warren 58%

May 21, 2011 93%

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Post Rapture Pet Protection

Zack —  March 21, 2011 — 1 Comment

Are you worried about your pets being “left behind” after the rapture?

Well, have no fear because your atheists neighbors are here to help! Presenting……

Yes this is a real thing, at least in the sense that they would be happy for you to sign and contract and take your money. Of course, at that point they are legally bound to take care of your pets should Jesus decided to leave them behind. And we all know most lawyers don’t have a soul so there should be plenty of them around to enforce the contract.

So, hurry on over to their website because you may only have 2 months from today before the rapture happens!

(Thanks to my friend Zack for sending us the link)

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American Jesus Madness – Salacious 16 Winners

Zack —  March 18, 2011 — 1 Comment

Wow! There were some HUGE upsets this round!

Personally, I was heartbroken and shocked to see great Stephen Colbert go down so early. Come on voters!

Oh well, as Colbert would say: “the market has spoken.”

Here are your Egregious 8:

Ted Haggard 80%

Westboro Baptist 81%

Ron Luce 69%

Jack Chick 88%

Pat Robertson 69%

Rick Warren 91%

Joel Osteen 62%

May 21, 2011 81%

 

And here are your bracket leaders:

1. Yoav Lubelsky – 31 points

2. Schuyler St. Lawrence – 27 points

3. Tim Hickman – 26 points

(If you think we miscounted your bracket, then please feel free to let us know in a KIND email and we will recheck our math. However, please double check your emailed bracket first and make sure it wasn’t blank when you sent it to us. We would have replied to that issue earlier, but honestly we just looked at the bracket today. Apologies for that.)

 

REMEMBER: Voting for the Egregious 8 will begin on Monday at 9am CST, with the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse round to follow on Monday at 1pm CST.

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Pole Dancing For Jesus

Zack —  March 18, 2011 — 4 Comments

Yes this is a real thing.

Apparently they do “pole fitness” while listening to contemporary Christian music. You can’t make this stuff up.

 

Pole Dancing for Jesus

Kristin Kane – FOX26 News

HOUSTON – Pole dancing as a workout is nothing new. Over the past few years, independent studios have popped up all over the country, but there is a very unique type of pole dancing class here in our area.

It’s called Pole Fitness for Jesus.

You’re probably thinking: “How on Earth can you mix pole dancing with Jesus?”

According to one studio in Spring, you can definitely mix the two.

“I was actually a dancer for 3 years, probably 7 years ago or so. I did it for awhile, it’s not something I felt very rewarded with, but to each his own and it was just something I decided I didn’t want to do anymore so I decided to take the part that I liked about that and bring it here but it’s so much fitness, I don’t teach women to be strippers,” said owner/instructor of Best Shape of Your Life Crystal Deans.

Every 2md Sunday of the month, Crystal Deans invites female church-goers into her pole dancing studio.

“On Sundays, we do pole fitness for Jesus. We do the upbeat contemporary Christian music because people have to bring their church program to get into the class, so we basically are just continuing the whole worship thing here.”

Continue reading

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American Jesus Madness – 1st Round Winners

Zack —  March 18, 2011 — 1 Comment

Big thanks to everyone that voted in the 1st round of the inagural American Jesus Madness Tournament!

We had some big upsets, several blowouts, and a few close calls in the 1st Round.

Don’t forget that voting for the Salacious 16 begins TODAY at 1pm CST!! Afterwards we will post the winners as well as the top 3 bracket leaders.

1st Round Winners:

Interpretive Dance Lady (53%)

Ted Haggard (70%)

Westboro Baptist (68%)

Stephen Colbert (62%)

Mountaintop Jesus (60%)

Ron Luce (59%)

King James Bible (74%)

Jack Chick (86%)

Rob Bell (94%)

Pat Robertson (78%)

Rick Warren (74%)

Christian Ventriloquist (56%)

Joel Osteen (57%)

Ken Ham (75%)

Third Eagle (71%)

May 21, 2011 (80%)

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