Umm…..yeah.

I really, really, really hope the senior adult ministry at my church doesn’t try this fundraiser.
 

Church men bare more than souls

By Amanda Cedrone
The Boston Globe

Ok, to be fair the exact phrase “I think children who disrespect their parents should be put to death” does not come out of the mouth of crazy “Pastor” Steve.

HOWEVER, the argument he is clearly making is that Levitical law should be followed instead of “secular law” because it is “God’s law” and therefore better than the secular law of 17th century England.

Which is obviously an air tight argument.

According to “Pastor” Steve under “God’s law” there are 11 crimes punishable by death. Among them: murder, rape, adultery, bestiality, being gay, idolatry, witchcraft, blasphemy, and…..disrespecting your parents. (Those were the ones he mentions….turns out violating the Sabbath was also punishable by death.)

While I would like to believe/hope that “Pastor” Steve doesn’t really think children should be executed for disrespecting their parents, there is no way around the fact that what he is preaching is the idea that America needs to “get back to her biblical roots” like it was in “the good ole days” and start following “God’s law” as they supposedly did in 17th century Massachusetts.

You know who else wants to replace secular law with a fundie version of religious law? The Taliban. And we all know how well that little experiment in Afghanistan worked out.

I’ve never understood fundie preachers who yell and scream about the blood of Jesus that “establishes a new covenant” and gives them freedom from the law, but who then also try to lift up the “old covenant” violence of the Old Testament as a shining light to be followed.

Why do they not understand that Jesus’ act of the cross was His response to violence? And if I remember the passion narrative correctly, I don’t remember him beating up the Roman soldiers and smashing up the cross.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”
(Matthew 5:38-39 ESV)

We’ve seen plenty of supposed Jesus images on random objects over the years. Some pretty convincing, most not so much.

This one falls into the “there’s no way this wasn’t airbrushed on in a desperate attempt at attention” category.

Congratulations, your bid for attention worked.

Found here

Halloween is just around the corner. Which is awesome because you can buy HUGE bags of candy and eat it all yourself!

Oh, you’re supposed to give that candy out to kids?

Sounds like begging to me.

If they want candy, then they should get a job and buy their own candy. It’s the American way!

Speaking of Halloween, this will probably come as a big shocker, but it turns out that Pat Robertson isn’t a big fan of Halloween.

As he continues his parade of insight with well thought out, reflected advice like “divorce your spouse with Alzhiemer’s” Pat uses this installment to remind us that Halloween is really Satan’s night.

So, I for one am taking his advice and buying up all the candy for myself so that small children won’t be tempted to participate in demonic activity.

To be fair this song/video only plays the “America is a Christian nation” card during the bridge, but the creepy children’s choreography makes it a must watch.

Thank you Matthew Paul Turner for sharing this with the world. It made our day.

We just hope there’s a complete set out there with a Satan action figure dressed as Osama Bin Laden and maybe a Popemobile that transforms into an Apache attack helicopter.

Just watch. This is awesome.

Just gonna leave this here…

Our favorite part?  The fact that it’s volume four!

From the files of CBS News, this story is awesome and somewhat hilarious.

(CBS/AP)

BAY MINETTE, Ala. – Authorities say non-violent offenders in southern Alabama will have a new choice: Go to jail, or go to church every Sunday for a year.

CBS News affiliate WKRG-TV in Mobile reports that Operation Restore Our Community begins next week.

The city judge in Bay Minette will let misdemeanor offenders choose to work off their sentences in jail and pay a fine; or go to church every Sunday for a year.

If offenders select church, they’ll be allowed to pick the place of worship but must check in weekly with the pastor and police.

If the one-year church attendance program is completed, the offender’s case will be dismissed.

Bay Minette Police Chief Mike Rowland says the program could change the lives of people heading down the wrong path. So far, 56 churches are participating.

So this video was sent to us by a group calling themselves Burrowing Owls.

Not sure if it’s supposed to be serious or not. Feels like a spoof. Assume it’s a spoof, since I don’t know why you would send something like this to us if you were seriously this passionate about the rapture.

Either way, it’s pretty amusing.

Also, fair warning: this song WILL get stuck in your head.

You’ve been warned.