It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day, Let’s Celebrate With Some Christian Pirates!!

Facebook informs me today is Talk Like A Pirate Day.

So, um, arrr matey!

Well, now that I’ve got that out the way, I’d thought I’d help you guys celebrate properly with a montage of Christian pirate videos that are, well, you just need to watch them for yourself.

They’re kinda too amazing for words.

First up, we learn that Captain Hook is actually a Christian and his treasure is buried “at the altar of salvation.”

Of course, as everybody knows you can’t have Christian pirates that don’t rap.

And, just in case you’re watching these clips and thinking “I’d love to show this to my kids but it’s just not quite traumatic enough,” don’t worry. The Christian pirates have you covered – with an autopsy.


So, yeah, I hope you make the most of Talk Like A Pirate Day.

By which I mean I hope you spend your day going up to complete strangers and asking, “Arrr ye saved, matey?”

Cause that’s what pirate Jesus would do.

  • Adele Bohn

    o. my. word. the autopsy. bless it all. a beer joint?! the pirate. very serious indeed.

  • Elizabeth Faith

    That was such a crazy mix of hilarious and traumatic. Thank you for sharing and/or I need to go scrub my brain with clorox now. LOL!

  • Justin Mitchell

    The random closeups of the shifty eyes in the third video are cracking me up.

    The pirate in black is a pretty good actor. He genuinely looks like he doesn’t want to be there. It’s as if he’s not acting at all!

  • Robert Martin

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little at that rap…

  • Russell Geisthardt

    No wonder he’s dead, he’s been eating beer cans and cigarette boxes.

  • Pam

    The VERY white feet in the rap video.