Awesome Jesus Stuff You Need To Own

My cousin stumbled across a couple of these things the other day and sent me pictures.

Naturally, I immediately went in search of where I could buy them online.

Well, that let to even more wonderful discoveries I felt compelled to share.

So, in no particular order, here’s some awesome (mostly) Jesus stuff you need to own.

[You can click on any of the links below or images themselves to buy the awesomeness you see]

First up, Jesus Band-Aids.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 1.30.54 PM

Just took a chunk out of my finger the other day. Really wish I had had these handy as I assume they would have miraculously healed my cut immediately.

Even if they didn’t miraculously heal my finger, I want the free toy inside!!

You can buy these holy Band-Aids here.

Sticking with the sticky Jesus theme, make sure you pick up some of these bad boys.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 12.10.14 PM

Or if you prefer, and I do ’cause they’re too awesome for words, you can go all Charlton Heston with your sticky notes and turn them into divine commandments.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 12.08.32 PM

Going back to Jesus, if you’ve ever felt scorned that you weren’t allowed to choose the costumes for your church’s annual Easter pageant, here’s your chance at redemption.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 12.08.56 PM

You can pick up your magnetic mix n’ match Jesus here.

Speaking of your chance at redemption.

If you suffer from halitosis or just had a touch too much garlic at lunch, then save your breath with a case or two of Messiah Mints.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 12.09.30 PM

Or if your sin is greater than garlic and you find your soul in need of atonement, don’t worry.

They’ve got mints for that too.

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 12.10.52 PM

Hope you enjoyed these wonderful little items.

At the very least, I hope you’ve found a gift for the next pastor appreciation day at your church.

Trust me, your pastor will love anything from this list.

And if your pastor doesn’t, then you probably need to find a new pastor…

…with a sense of humor.

  • Charlie Walker

    Where do I go to get these, brother? #Love!

    • ZackHunt

      Just click on the links or the images themselves, that should take your right to the site where you can buy them. If you have any problems with the links, just let me know and I’ll get them fixed.

  • Eric

    Whoa! I’ve got the band-aids, but now I must have the rest!

  • Bart Massey

    Y’know, I know you mean well, but I don’t really buy into this. I guess at the end of the day, the question I ask myself is “if I were actually hanging with the Lord, the Creator and Savior of the Universe, would I be embarrassed or ashamed to own a bunch of satirical items poking (even gentle, friendly) fun at a man who sacrificed His Divine life for me?” Because, after all, it’s not a rhetorical question.

    • Pam Manners

      Ummm….methinks you’re missing Zack’s whole point here, sir.

      • Bart Massey

        Imagine you’re right! Help me out?

        • Pam Manners

          Zack doesn’t really buy into this either. But apparently, there are folks in this world who do. He’s just pointing out how ridiculous these things are.

          • Bart Massey

            Uh, maybe? I hope? I had kind of ruled that out because of the last line, but it’s really hard to tell hardcore deadpan sarcasm from literal on the Interwebs. A clarifying comment from Zack would be very welcome here.

  • Brian

    I bought some of those bandaids for a friend while I was visiting Archie McPhee in Seattle last year. I also bought some Last Supper Mints.