Mars Hill Church Needs A Youth Director – Apply Here!

A couple of weeks ago Matthew Paul Turner leaked a Mars Hill ‘discipline contract’ along with a subsequent internal memo to members instructing them about how to interact with the excommunicated former member.

Well, yesterday Mark Driscoll tweeted that Mars Hill is looking to hire a new Youth Director. While that is in no way connected to the discipline contract, there is another leak involved.

If you are interested in the job you must register with the church’s website in order to access the job application.

However, we have created a satirical work of fiction that is in no way the actual job description or application leaked this secretive application for all to see. So, if you’re interested in joining the Mars Hill staff or just wanted to know what it takes to work there, you can check out the application below.

Not surprisingly, just like Mars Hill itself, it’s not your average job application…..


  • Jez

    Dude you clearly have no idea what you’re talking about. It is apparent that you’ve either not listened to Driscoll preached or not read your bible properly.

    I have enjoyed your posts but I think I will cancel my subscription now.

    Thanks and God Bless

    • http://stuffchristianculturelikes.com stephanie drury

      You’ve clearly been listening to Driscoll and also reading your Bible, uh, properly. I’m ramping up my subscription now. xoxoxo

    • Mel

      Come on dude, its satire. If Driscoll can’t take what he dishes out then he’s not as secure as he claims to be. The church needs to be able to banter like this. That’s what family does; they hold up mirrors to each other.

      • Zack

        Amen.

      • Kay

        amen.

      • Mark not Driscoll

        He’s NOT as secure as he claims to be. Why do you think he talks so much about sex (subliminal: denied) and threatens to break elders’ noses? I suspect you are blocked on twitter by Mars Hill, Driscoll — no, he is so far above blocking underling peons, he just ignores — and the ever delicate and easily-offended James MacDonald. Of course, every A29 pastor is probably under orders to block you on threat of excommunication and broken nose by The Most Irreverent SuperApostle Mark.

    • Princess

      Is Jez short for Jezuz? as in the Son of Mark Driscoll?

    • Greg D

      Driscollites and MacArthurites all sound the same. They like to tell you how little you know the Bible, and they are the supposed masters of hermeneutics and exegesis. Everyone else is a heretic.

  • Heather

    BEST. THING. EVER. Thank you.

  • Jeff baker

    The best satire is at times over the top and this was very funny.

  • figsfigs

    Hilarious!

  • Ben

    WHY I’M ABANDONING YOUR WEBSITE

    Do to the fact that you have an entire website dedicated to Judging people. That you behave as if you posses the mysterious knowledge of the gospel and know exactly how Christianity should be done. And your OBSESSION with Mark Driscoll, who is a human and has his faults, obviously you do not. I can’t visit your website anymore, it makes me want to be an atheist.

    I honestly believe you and Matthew Paul Turner call each other on the phone and gossip for hours about Mark Driscoll like two teenage girls. Mark Driscoll does provide value and has authored quite a few good books. Some of his guidelines are insane but, the Bible is insane. Mark’s preaching saved my best friend and because he has accepted Jesus he is an entirely different person and I’m thankful for that.

    For the record, I don’t listen to Mark Driscoll religiously so don’t bother throwing that in my face. I think running a church of that size would be difficult with all the pressure and responsibility. And regardless of the size of church or reach, we are sinners, we do screw up. That’s why God gives us grace.

    And who cares that Christians make horrible parody songs to popular songs. Their just excited. Excited about Jesus. Non-Christians might see these and think we’re freaks, many of them will think we’re freaks regardless. Look at how many lost people make horrible parodies on youtube. Posting these videos like you do makes me feel like I should be ashamed to be a Christian. I just hope one day you stop this format of judging all the other Christians you think your better than. And stop trying to impress non-believers by trying to act cool.

    I’ll try to pray for you but, I struggle with praying for people that annoy me. Lord forgive me.

  • http://trippingstumblingwhilefollowingjesus.blogspot.com/ Joe

    I think that Driscoll has his place in the kingdom. I either seem to love what is coming out of his mouth or find myself in complete aggravation, scratching my head in disbelief. (Roughly 50/50) But I still have to admit that God uses him to reach people people that won’t respond to others.

    This is the beautiful thing about YHWH. He uses whatever he wants for his kingdom & glory wether we like it our not. He even uses both hyper-masculine, manly-man men with extra chest hair and blatant sexual insecurity issues AND effeminate worship leaders who love their wives in every way possible, and yet find themselves oddly drawn to interior decorating. Our God uses what ever suits his fancy. (Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?)

    The fact is that Believers across the spectrum need to recognize this, and to let God be God.

    With that having been said, I thought this spoof was AWESOME! (I was actually thinking of using it as a genuine application, but realized that I scream like a little girl when confronting needles and so my sin of no tattoos remains.)

    • Zack

      “This is the beautiful thing about YHWH. He uses whatever he wants for his kingdom & glory whether we like it our not. He even uses both hyper-masculine, manly-man men with extra chest hair and blatant sexual insecurity issues AND effeminate worship leaders who love their wives in every way possible, and yet find themselves oddly drawn to interior decorating.”

      I couldn’t have said it better myself. I completely agree.

      • http://trippingstumblingwhilefollowingjesus.blogspot.com/ Joe

        In the new heaven & earth, I plan on doing a lot of “Stand up.”

  • http://www.lifebeforethebucket.com Adrian W.

    I thought this was hilarious. Can’t believe some of the comments you received, but alas, people continue to surprise me every day.

  • Roslyn

    I don’t know what’s funnier: your post, or the comments from Driscoll’s drones. Truth hitting you a little hard, fellas?

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  • Kyle Smith

    For some reason I just now found your blog and I have been reading back in your archives for fun…..that was A-mazing. I laughed so hard.