Why “egregious”? Because some obscure basketball tournament already laid claim to “elite” and “egregious” was the first alliterating word that popped in my head other than the lame “excellent.”
And, little known fact, along with “shockingly bad” the word “egregious” can also mean “distinguished.”
Since we’ve got a little of both in this tournament, I thought it was fitting.
So, there’s that.
As usual, keep these (once again slightly updated) guidelines for voting in mind during the Egregious 8 round….
1) There are no rules for voting. Vote for whomever you like for whatever reason you like. It’s totally up to you.
2) Voting is unlimited. After voting click “Return to Poll” and you can vote again. However, if last year is any indication, Polldaddy (which runs the polling widget) will force you to “take a break” for about 10 minutes (I think) if you vote a TON of times in a row. But once that “break” is over, start voting like crazy again!
3) Voting runs through midnight tonight. After that I will close the polls, calculate the results using math, and announce the winners and the bracket leaders tomorrow, March 22nd at 8am EST.
4) Voting for the 4rd round, which I call the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” round (though maybe I should call it the Four Horsepeople to be politically correct?) will begin tomorrow, March 22nd at 9am EST. HOWEVER!!! Since that round decides who will play in the championship it will run until midnight Sunday night, March 24th to allow as much time for voting as possible. I will keep you updated about the matchups throughout the weekend via Twitter.
The American Jesus Madness 2013 championship matchup will be announced Monday, March 25th @ 8AM, with voting beginning that same day at 9AM.
That’s it. Time to start voting again!
VOTING IS NOW CLOSED FOR THE EGREGIOUS 8 ROUND.
CHECK BACK TOMORROW AT 8AM EST TO FIND OUT WHO MADE TO THE 4 HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE ROUND!!
Over 37,000 votes have been cast so far American Jesus Madness 2013 and the results for the Salacious 16 are here!!
The matches were, overall, much closer than the 1st round. The matchup between between Homebrewed Christianity and Ann Voskamp came down to a last minute rally from Ann Voskamp who squeezed out a razor thin 8 vote win.
But we did have a few more blowouts. In particular, Mark Sandlin is proving himself quite the dark horse garnering almost as many votes in this round as all other winners combined. If he’s going to be beat, everyone else is really going to have to step up their game.
In light of that, you’ll notice I switched things up a bit this go around and listed the exact number of votes rather than just the percentage each combatant received.
Anyway, check out the results below and get ready to vote for the Egregious 8 round starting TODAY @ 9AM EST!!
SALACIOUS 16 RESULTS
Tim Tebow – 400 #RickWarrenTips – 741
Scot McKnight – 778 The Next Pope – 655
Christian Humility- 736 Joel Osteen’s Mullett – 316
Welcome to the Salacious 16 round where the epic matchups get even epic-er!
That’s a word, right?
Anyway, keep these (slightly updated) guidelines for voting in mind during the Salacious 16 round….
1) There are no rules for voting. Vote for whomever you like for whatever reason you like. It’s totally up to you.
2) Voting is unlimited. After voting click “Return to Poll” and you can vote again. However, if last year is any indication, Polldaddy (which runs the polling widget) will force you to “take a break” for about 10 minutes (I think) if you vote a TON of times in a row. But once that “break” is over, start voting like crazy again!
3) Voting runs through midnight tonight. After that I will close the polls, calculate the results using math, and announce the winners and the bracket leaders tomorrow, March 21st at 8am EST.
4) Voting for the 3rd round, which I lovingly refer to as the “Egregious 8” (because “Elite” was already taken and “Egregios” was the first word that popped in my head three years ago) will begin tomorrow, March 21st at 9am EST and run until midnight tomorrow night.
Now go vote!
VOTING FOR THE SALACIOUS 16 ROUND IS NOW CLOSED. CHECK BACK TOMORROW @ 8AM TO SEE WHO MADE IT TO THE EGREGIOUS 8 ROUND!!
VOTING FOR THE EGREGIOUS 8 ROUND BEGINS TOMORROW @ 9AM!!
1) There are no rules for voting. Vote for whomever you like for whatever reason you like. It’s totally up to you.
2) Voting is unlimited. After voting click “Return to Poll” and you can vote again. However, if last year is any indication, Polldaddy (which runs the polling widget) will force you to “take a break” for about 10 minutes (I think) if you vote a TON of times in a row. But once that “break” is over, start voting like crazy again!
3) Voting runs through midnight tonight. After that I will close the polls, calculate the results using math, and announce the winners and the bracket leaders tomorrow, March 20th at 8am EST.
4) Voting for the 2nd round, which I lovingly refer to as the “Salacious 16,” will begin tomorrow, March 20th at 9am EST and run until midnight tomorrow night.
Now go vote!
VOTING FOR THE 1ST ROUND IS NOW CLOSED, CHECK BACK TOMORROW @ 8AM tp SEE WHO MADE IT TO THE SALACIOUS 16!!
VOTING FOR THE SALACIOUS 16 ROUND BEGINS TOMORROW @ 9AM!!
American Jesus Madness officially kicks off tomorrow, but before it does I wanted to take a moment to talk about holiness.
Because nothing goes together better than an absurd imaginary tournament and holiness, right?
Ok, maybe not, but bare with me because I have a bit of good news to share with you.
As many of you already know, I signed a book deal with CLC Publications last fall. Now, I’m excited to announce that I finally have a title and release date for my book!!
It’s going to be called The Scandal of Holiness and will be released this September!!
So, what’s it about?
Having grown up in the so-called “holiness tradition” the call to holiness is something very near and dear to my heart. It’s also something I think we as a church collectively, whether members of the holiness tradition or not, have tragically misunderstood or altogether ignored. The aim of my book is to not only rediscover this fundamental call of the faith, but to reimagine how it can be authentically lived out in the twenty-first century.
I believe Jesus understood the call to holiness not as a list of things we’re not supposed to do or people we’re not supposed to associate with, but as a call to actively and creatively incarnate the love and grace of God to a lost and dying world, particularly for those people and corners of the world we’re “supposed to avoid.” In short, the book is a call to embrace the “unholy” (particularly people) rather than avoiding it/them like the plague, so that holiness becomes less about ethical perfection and more about healing and redemption.
To get a little bit better of an idea about the tone of the book, you can check out this video I made a while back. It’s not directly connected to the book, but it does capture the basic message.
Needless to say I’m very exciting to see this book finally published. It’s been a long journey.
But there’s still more work to do.
I will get my edits back from my editor in a couple of weeks (funny how that works), then I have a couple of weeks to finish them before sending them back to be prepared for publishing. After that you’ll be hearing a lot more from me about the book, its release, and how you can get involved (and get your hands on a copy) with the launch of the book in just a few months. Seriously, I’m definitely going to need your help with this thing. I only got to this point because you thought I might have something interesting to say. I’ll only be able to move forward if you can help me convince others of the same.
Until then, there’s some serious, you might even say “sacred” business we need to take care of.
We need to crown a champion of American Christianity for 2013!
(See? I told you American Jesus Madness and holiness were connected.)
As promised, here are the breakdowns of the matchups for the 1st round of American Jesus Madness.
Consider them a guide to voting or just disregard them all together of vote however the heck you want.
But before I give my analysis, there’s a couple of housekeeping things I wanted to mention. First, if you haven’t downloaded the bracket you really need to. Filling out a bracket is half the fun. Once you’ve read through the matchup breakdown use that accumulated knowledge to fill out your bracket, email it back to me, and take your chance at winning eternal glory.
Secondly, a word about voting. As you know (hopefully) the winners of each matchup will be determined by your votes which begin Tuesday, March 19th at 8:00am EST. The voting will take place using a poll like the one below. Super simple. But just in case you’ve never used an online poll before, go ahead and take this one for a spin, see how it feels, and get ready to build some callouses on your clicking finger because voting is unlimited.
Ok, now on with the show…
1ST ROUND BREAKDOWN
Tim Tebow vs. Ray Lewis
Tebow come into the tournament this year as the reigning American Jesus Madness tournament champion. Ray Lewis comes in as the reigning Super Bowl Champion. In this clash of champions who will prevail? My money is on Lewis. Why? Two reason: his over the top shows of faith pregame, postgame, midgame, and every other time a camera was put in front of his face this year made Tebow look like a disinterested atheist in comparison. More importantly, if you don’t vote for Ray Lewis he’ll probably murder you.
#RickWarrenTips vs. Mark Driscoll Tweets
It’s true that #RickWarrenTips was just a flash in the pan, a one day riff on a bizzare tweet from the one and only Rick Warren. But what allowed that viral moment to happen were the never ending, quasi-theological, and often nonsensical tweets Rick loves sharing with the world. In Mark Driscoll, however, Rick may have met his Twitter match. No one does thoughtless tweeting quite like the pope of Mars Hill. Sure, he may have a team of ghostwriters at his beck and call, but nothing keeps Mark Driscoll from sharing that certain level of gross insensitivity and pseudo-sophistication that only Mark Driscoll can. So who wins? It really doesn’t matter. As long as these two keep tweeting, we all lose.
Scot McKnight vs. Albert Mohler
There’s few things fundamentalists like more than one of their own who has the astounding capability to use polysyllabic words. It’s this singular ability that makes Albert Mohler the lord of Fundieland. Out in Hereticville resides Scot McKnight. Scot is one of those wacky “Christians” who tries to corrupt the church by trying to convince us that we don’t have to be fundamentalists in order to be Christians. Worse yet, he thinks science and faith aren’t fundamentally incompatible as if it’s “ok” to believe in both the Creator of the universe AND the laws and principles that Creator imbedded within it. Obviously that’s just crazy talk if, as all real Christians do, you accept a “plain reading of Scripture.” So, if you’re one of those heretical people who thinks it’s ok to ask questions about your faith and accept the demonic teachings of science, go right ahead and vote for McKnight. But real Jesus lovers, who would never do something so sinful as to question their leaders, will vote for his high holiness Albert Mohler.
Pope Benedict XVI vs. The Next Pope
As we all know by now, ‘ole Benny shocked the world when he announced he was stepping down from the papacy last month. Just this week, right after I posted the bracket in fact (thanks conclave), his successor was named – Pope Francis I. Now the question is – what sort of relationship will these two vicars of Christ have? Since none of us have inside access to the Vatican, we’ll never know for sure….which is exactly why we need to decide for ourselves by pitting them against one another in a popular vote. Francis seems like the favorite being about a decade younger, but don’t count out Benedict. He’s got a few loyal Swiss guards on his side that aren’t afraid to do what’s necessary to move ‘ole Benny on to the next round.
Mark Driscoll vs. Christian Humility
Mark Driscoll makes another appearance in the tournament this year. This time as himself, rather than just his tweets. He’s up against what is, by most accounts, his greatest opponent – Christian Humility. As Christians we are called to humble ourselves, to be servants to all, to turn the other cheek. But none of those things are very manly and if there’s one thing Mark Driscoll is clear about it’s that you can’t be a real Christian if you’re not manly. Christian Humility may have the final say on Judgment Day, but until then, it’s going to have to be wary of Driscoll’s pent up testosterone, blatant overcompensation for apparent rampant insecurities, and his immense MMA skills.
Joel Osteen’s Smile vs. Joel Osteen’s Mullett
There’s so many things to love about Joel Osteen. That amazing smile, his wildly tacky yet incredible hair, the fact that he tell you God wants you to be rich. But as we all know you can’t have your cake and eat it too. While the mullet is a transcendent hair that stretches across both time and geographical space, it’s that million dollar smile that got Joel his millions. The mullet may apply its patented surprise attack from behind, but its gonna have a hard time overcoming the shekinah glory of Joel’s pearly whites.
History Channel’s ‘The Bible’ vs. ‘DJesus Uncrossed’
There’s few things we American Christians like more than historical revisionism. It allows us to remake the past in any way we like, to suit whatever agenda we have, all why erasing all of our inconvenient mistakes. This year brought us two great works of historical revisionism, one intentionally funny, the other unintentionally racist. The Bible may have hours of footage and huge ratings behind it, but DJesus Uncrossed has guns and samarai swords and a small army of Roman scalping disciples.
Mark Sandlin vs. Justin Lee
You don’t get much more liberal than this matchup. Which is exactly why, as good Christian folk, we should probably just avoid it like the plague. In one corner you’ve got Mark Sandlin, progressive Christian blogger and co-founder of The Christian Left. In the other corner, you’ve got Justin Lee, the man with the audacity to think Christians should love their neighbors even if they happen to be gay. Somewhere James Dobson is rolling in his grave over this match. Oh wait, he’s not dead? Huh, well that would have been a good one-liner if…oh, never mind. Either way you go here you’re voting for a liberal and as the Bible clearly tells us, voting for liberals is a sin.
Rachel Held Evans vs. Biblical Womanhood
Rachel Held Evans had an incredible year last year. No, I’m not talking about her New York Times best-selling book, her appearances on several national talk shows, or dominance of non neo-Reformed blogging world. I’m talking about what really matters – her second place finish in the 2012 American Jesus Madness tournament. This year, she comes back looking to take the trophy away from God’s favorite football player Standing in her way is Biblical Womanhood. Most people assumed she took this mythic beast down with the publication of her book. But like Lazarus, it has risen from the dead and is out for revenge. Can the neo-Reformed zombie take down Evans? Probably not, but I just wanted to say “neo-Reformed zombie.”
Peter Enns vs. Ken Ham
Ken Ham gets a lot of flack. Sure, I’m one of those people giving him a lot of that flack, but without Kenny we wouldn’t have awesome people riding dinosaur dioramas to teach us about “real Biblical science.” Seriously, though, who wants to live in a world where people can’t use their God given freedom to domesticate and ride dinosaurs? Peter Enns, that’s who. Enns would rather we believe in things like “science” and “evidence” and “facts.” Sounds like boring nerd stuff to me. I say bring on the dinosaur saddles!
Hobby Lobby vs. Chick-Fil-A
It was a banner year for Christian owned businesses. By which I mean a banner year of embarrassment. Hobby Lobby stood up against Obamacare, but came across as standing up against women’s health. Chick-Fil-A stood up for “traditional marriage” only for people like this guy criticize their loyal followers who showed up in droves to buy chicken sandwiches because a talking head on TV told them to. Now the two must battle it out to determine who wears the crown of American Christian business. Personally, I’m taking Chick-Fil-A. I mean, have you ever had one of their chicken sandwiches or their nuggets or their lemonade or….Seriously, I don’t want to live in a world without Chick-Fil-A.
Rob Bell’s New Tan vs. Rob Bell’s Missing Glasses
A lot of things have changed since Rob Bell fled the great white North and headed for the sunny shores of southern California. Most notably he lost his glasses somewhere along the way (my guess he accidently left them in a Nebraska bathroom) and picked up a tan. If you’re a Rob Bell critic, then you’re probably convinced this new tanned look is the clearest evidence that he’s sold out to Hollywood. If you love Rob Bell, then you know that his gorgeous new tan is, like it was for Moses, the result of spending so much time in the presence of God. Personally, I don’t mind the tan, but Rob Bell without the glasses is like Ron Swanson without his mustache. Bring back the hipster glasses!
The Gospel Coalition vs. Homebrewed Christianity
You’d be hard pressed to find two more different takes on the Christian faith than the neo-Reform Gospel Coalition and the process homebrew of Tripp Fuller and Bo Sanders. Which is exactly what makes them perfect for battle! After all, if you can’t get along, why not fight it out? It’s the ‘Merican way! Now, I’m sure, given the chance, Tripp and Bo would gladly sit down with the fine folks from The Gospel Coalition to talk through their differences on an epic Homebrewed podcast. But since the Homebrewed boys are not of the neo-Reformed persuasion they are, by definition, inferior mortals and not worthy of debate with the mighty Gospel Coalition. Which means we must put God to a vote – all-powerful and predestining God or self-limiting and in process with his creation? That’s right, you get to decide the nature of God with your vote! You’re welcome America.
Ann Voskamp vs. Tim Challies
It’s hard to find two more contrasting styles or personalities than Tim Challies and Ann Voskamp. Those differences flared up this past summer when Tim Challies called Ann Voskamp’s book “dangerous.” Voskamp, in her typical ridiculously gracious way asked Challies over for dinner. Challies eventually apologized. The matter could have just died there, but what’s the fun in that? This is America and we need a war! More importantly, we need a winner! So, since we all know Ann is way too nice to give us the fight we want, this is our chance to do it for her!
John Piper vs. Christian Decency
For a long time John Piper has fought a determined and voracious effort against basic Christian decency. When the rest of the church held hands together and prayed for the victims of the Joplin tornadoes, Piper boldly stood up and declared it was the judgment of God at work. When Christians and non-Christians alike broke down in tears over the shooting of innocent children at Sandy Hook elementary, John Piper definitely stood up again and declared the shooting was actually a theology lesson from God. Now it’s Christian Deceny’s turn to fight back and take a stand for those who have the audacity to think that being a loving and decent human being to your neighbors is sort of part and parcel to being a Christian. Will Decency finally win the day or will Piper continue to pummel it into submission? That’s up to you. No pressure, but the reputation of the entire Christian faith rests with your vote.
Tony Jones vs. Stephanie Drury
Last but not least, we’ve got yet another battle of Godless liberals. This heretical matchup pits emergent church leader extraordinaire Tony Jones against the high priestess of Stuff Christian Culture Likes, Stephanie Drury. If you follow these two bloggers at all, then you know that despite their shared liberal heresy they’ve had their clashes. Well, now it’s time to settle things once at for all. Can Tony Jones muster the might of the emergent church or will the Stuff Christian Culture Likes army rise to the occasion? I believe Shakespeare said it best, “Hell hath no fury like a woman with devoted blog followers.”
Presenting the official 2013 American Jesus Madness bracket!!
A big word thanks to everyone who took the time to make nominations for the bracket! I really appreciate it.
Just in case you’re brand new to this, American Jesus Madness is my spin on March Madness (which begins next week), but instead of basketball teams, I use pop Christian culture.
Obviously these people and things can’t “play” each other, so the battles are settled by voting. Starting on Tuesday you’ll determine the winners of every match by voting in interactive polls. What are you voting on exactly?
Well, that’s up to you.
You could simply vote for which person you like better, which you like less, which one is more entertaining, which one would win in a bar fight, which one is more sane, which one is more insane, which one is a bigger jerk, or you could get really judgmental and vote on which one you think is the better or worse Christian.
Whoever or whatever gets the most votes advances on to the next round.
Frustrated that it’s not a clear, set in stone rationale? Well, sorry. It’s just for fun. Besides, isn’t irrationality exactly what American Christianity is all about anyway??
But like I’ve done in years past, I am going to help you out. On Friday, I’ll post a 1st Round match by match breakdown that will help those of you not be familiar with everyone or everything in the tournament which will provide a brief description of every single match-up to help you out with your voting.
Here’s where real fun comes in…
Just like the NCAA tourney you can download the bracket, fill it out, email it back to me, and predict the winner. And why wouldn’t you?? That’s half the fun. Besides, whoever wins will win eternal glory and have their enshrined on list of American Jesus Madness bracket champions for all time. (Just like the NCAA tourney, points are awarded for each vote, the most post points wins. The points system is listed below.)
SOMETHING NEW THIS YEAR!!!
I’ve got my breakdown of the tournament coming on Friday, but until then, I want to hear from YOU. Do you consider yourself an American Christianity aficionado? Then post your analysis or breakdown of the tournament matchups, share it with me, and I’ll link to it here. Be creative with it and above all, have fun!!
-I don’t have an awesome digital entry system like ESPN so you will need to download the bracket, fill it in, save it/scan it/take a picture of it/whatever, and email it back to me.
-The deadline for submitting your bracket is Monday, March 18th @ 11:59am EST
-The tournament/voting will begin Tuesday, March 19th @ 8am EST, at which time the schedule for the following rounds will be announced
-Correct selections will be award the following points: 1st round – 1 point; 2nd round – 5 points; 3rd round – 10 points; 4th round – 20 points; championship – 40 points
No, I’m not talking about the birds and the bees. Even fundamentalists agree on that point. I think. I hope. I’ve honestly never had a sex talk with a fundie and don’t plan on doing so anytime soon.
I’m talking about creation, specifically those two pesky chapters at the beginning of Genesis.
I say pesky because no matter how many awesome people riding dinosaurs dioramas the Creation Museum wants to build in an effort to “prove” the world was made in six literal days (God rested on the seventh), it’s those days that leave him in a bit of pickle.
If you remember your Sunday School lessons, you will recall that on the first day God said “Let there be light.” Beautiful beginning to a beautiful story. There’s just one catch. Light requires a source, say a light bulb, your iPhone, or in the case of the universe – stars; one of which we call the sun.
No matter how you old you want to believe the earth is, there’s no debating that it is the sun that gives the earth its source of light. Moreover, it’s the sun that separates day from night. But this is where things get a bit tricky for the Creation Museum and the rest of the fundies out there in fundie land.
Do you remember when God created the “lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night?”
I’ll help you out. That would be day 4.
Which means if you’re a fundamentalist you’ve got a pretty serious problem on your hands. If it’s the sun that separates day from night, but the sun wasn’t created until day 4, how exactly do you have days 1, 2, and 3 without the thing responsible for making days?
You see, if we have to take Genesis literally, as the fundies insist, then it would seem that the Creation Museum and their friends are short a few days.
This is one of the core problems with Biblical fundamentalism. It refuses to make space for allegory and metaphor. Instead, it tries force those round pegs into the square holes of their own anti-intellectualism and fear of science.
It doesn’t matter how great the consensus in the scientific community might be or how overwhelmingly the Christian (and Jewish) tradition has affirmed a metaphorical or allegorical interpretation of passages like Genesis, the Biblical fundamentalists, like any other jihadist, will reinterpret these critiques as “persecution” of the “faithful remnant” and will carry on fighting their holy war until the end of time believing every critique lobbed their way merely adds another jewel in their heavenly crown.
They will carry on this fight because at its heart, fundamentalism is not being right about what the Bible says. It’s about pride and control. It’s about the pride of not being able to humble one’s self enough to admit you’re wrong. And it’s about the need to control others through dogma, fear, and intimidation and the world through self-delusion, denial, and condemnation.
Fundamentalism isn’t about the “truth.”
It’s about lording that “truth” over everyone else.
This need for lordship is, of course, the root of all sin. It’s what drove Adam and Eve to try to snatch divinity away from God. It’s what keeps the poor oppressed, the marginalized ignored, and the weak in bondage. It’s the same thing that empowers tyrants to exploit their people and pastors to manipulate their flocks into people defined by fear, hatred, and condemnation.
Which means fundamentalism isn’t just an embarrassing sideshow attraction in the life of the church or a quirky aberration at the periphery of the faith that we can simply ignore until it goes away. It’s a virus that latches itself onto the Body of Christ infecting every one of its members, slowly but steadily twisting the Body’s until it destroys itself.
It’s a shadow hanging over the light of the Gospel.
An obstacle that stands in the way of Christ’s love.
The ultimate barrier to grace.
And until we name it as such we stand no chance of defeating the disease and providing the Body with the healing it so desperately needs.
Right before John the Baptist became John the Headless, the writer of Mark records that Jesus gathered “the Twelve” together and sent them out with these instructions,
“Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt. Whenever you enter a house, stay there until you leave that town.And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, leave that place and shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.”
On the surface this isn’t a particularly exciting passage. Most of us pass it by without much thought – except, of course, for that last little bit about shaking the dust off your feet. There are few things better than finding Biblical justification for throwing a temper tantrum at church because something didn’t go your way.
But I digress.
As it turns out, this seemingly innocuous portion of scripture is, in fact, one of the most challenging passages in the Bible.
That is,it’s one of the most challenging passages in the Bible…if you’re a fundamentalist.
You see, if you call yourself a Biblical fundamentalist, that is to say, if you believe that everything in the Bible is to be taking literally, everything in it is absolutely true (i.e. inerrant), including historical and scientific information, and, above all, all of Jesus’ commands are to be followed literally then his passage raises a bit of a problem.
Particularly if you happen to live in a cold climate.
When Jesus sent out his disciples he gave them very specific instruction on what to wear. He said, “Wear sandals but not an extra shirt.”
Now, if you’re going to take this Biblical fundamentalism thing seriously, you’ve got to take this passage seriously. These are the clear, easy to understand instructions Jesus gives to his followers for how to conduct themselves as his disciples in the world. Yes, he’s talking specifically to the Twelve, but he was also talking specifically to a first-century crowd on a hillside when he gave the Sermon on the Mount, yet we still take his teachings are being relevant to us. Why? Because when Jesus gave instructions for how to be his follower he was never talking just to the people right in front of him at the time. He was talking to anyone who would choose to follow him for all time.
So, if you’re a fundamentalist you’ve got to take his commands as literally here as you do everywhere, otherwise you’re not being faithful to a plain reading of the text.
Which means, when our only option for footwear is a pair of sandals it’s hard to be a fundamentalist in Alaska.
Now, if you count yourself as a fundamentalist, or just somebody who believes they take the Bible literally, maybe you want to push back on me here. Maybe, like I alluded to before, you want to claim that Jesus just meant his instructions for the disciples who could actually hear his voice.
If that’s the case, I would like to caution you. As you so often like to warn me, if you can’t take one part of the Bible literally true, how can you believe any of it is true?
Now if you want to continue to argue that Jesus only meant what he said here only for his immediate audience, how do you know that for sure? The Bible certainly doesn’t say that. Sure it says he was talking to “the Twelve,” but it didn’t say those instructions were only for them? Besides, we have no problem employing that part about shaking off dust. Why is it that only that part is still relevant to us? Is it because that part’s easy, but the stuff about wearing only sandals is not so much? But that just makes me confused, because I’ve never seen anyone actually shake dust off their sandals who was leaving the church, service, or blog they were mad at.
Moreover, how do we know Jesus wasn’t talking only to his first century audience when he was telling all those other parables and preaching all those other sermons. Given a plain reading of scripture there’s never any explicit mention that he was talking to anyone not standing right in front of him. So why it that we can ignore his instructions here, but not elsewhere, like when he tells these same Twelve to go and make disciples of all the world baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Spirit?
Those words were spoken with the same directness to a specific audience as the command about only wearing sandals, and yet we extend the so-called Great Commission to us, but not the footwear restrictions.
How strange.
We’re not being very literal here if you ask me.
We’re certainly not being very consistent.
You see, if you’re going to claim that you can be a fundamentalist, live in Alaska, and not wear sandals, then you’re going to have to do one of one things – either pretend like this passage doesn’t exist (which, of course, would be lying; something Jesus definitely said not to do) or admit that you’re interpreting this passage.
Now, don’t go freaking out on me. Interpretation isn’t that scary. You do it all the time and don’t even realize it. In fact, it’s a necessary and unavoidable part of reading the BIble.
The truth of the matter is if you’ve ever preached a sermon, taught Sunday school lesson about the meaning of a Bible story, or even “just” quoted a verse verbatim to make a point about something you’ve done the work of interpretation.
And that’s ok.
Because without that act of interpretation there’s no room for God to work, no space for God to speak, no way for God to do the transforming work that God intended the Bible to bring about in our lives.
, her appearances on several national talk shows, or dominance of non neo-Reformed blogging world. I’m talking about what really matters – 
