As it turns out, we Americans aren’t the only ones who like using guns to solve our problems.

Crazy-Preacher

 

Nigeria: Pastor Pulls Out Gun On Church Accountant in Benue

BY PETER DURU, ALL AFRICA

Makurdi — THE Benue State Police Command, yesterday, arrested the pastor of a new generation church in Katsina-Ala (names withheld) for illegal possession of fire arms and assault on the church’s accountant.

Vanguard gathered from sources that the pastor was apprehended with the firearm by men of the Benue State Special Anti Robbery Squad, SARS, in Katsina-Ala where he allegedly tried to kill the accountant of the church, Mr. Philip Toryila, during a serious disagreement over money.

According to our source,”the incident occurred on Tuesday evening when the pastor ordered the church accountant to handover church monies to him for execution of a project and he refused.

“The refusal of the accountant angered the pastor who engaged him in a fracas and in the process pulled out a gun on the accountant.

“In the process, the accountant shouted for help which attracted the attention of another church official who alerted the police and they quickly drafted some armed men of the squad to the place and arrested the pastor.”

The source added that “the accountant sustained a major facial injury and other parts of his body and was quickly rushed to a private hospital in Katsina-Ala where is now receiving treatment.”

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Pastors Don’t Have To Tip?

Zack —  January 31, 2013 — 2 Comments

I really hope this isn’t true.

I really hope somebody scribbled “pastor” on the receipt after the fact.

But it looks like they didn’t.

It looks like somebody out there is just a really poor excuse for a pastor.

This sort of thing is ridiculous in the first place, but coming from a pastor it’s repugnant and embarrassing to the rest of us who think Jesus actually meant all that stuff he said about generosity, kindness, and love.

UPDATE: Apparently the pastor in question has responded to the backlash.

UPDATE #2: The waitress who posted the receipt has been fired…after the pastor who left the receipt called Applebee’s to complain.

 

receipt

Person claiming to be pastor leaves waiter note: ‘I give God 10%. Why do you get 18?

By Dylan Stableford, Yahoo! News

A person claiming to be a pastor apparently tried to stiff a waiter on a tip, explaining that their work for God absolved them of having to leave one.

A photo of the receipt, posted to Reddit.com, shows a bill for $34.93 that included an automatic 18 percent gratuity ($6.29) above a blank space for an additional tip.

“I give God 10%,” the diner wrote on the receipt, scratching out the automatic tip. “Why do you get 18?” The person then wrote “Pastor” above their signature, and an emphatic “0″ where the additional tip would be.

The Reddit user who submitted the image explained in the comments section that the receipt was part of a total bill of over $200 for a party of 20, which is why the gratuity was automatically added.

“Parties up to eight … may tip whatever they’d like, but larger parties receive an automatic gratuity,” the server wrote. “It’s in the computer, it’s not something I do.”

The server added: “They had no problem with my service, and told me I was great. They just didn’t want to pay when the time came.”

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The power of Christ compels you….to stop trying to steal my purse!!

Original story found here.

global warming

Christian Nightmares found and posted this image yesterday.

While it leaves me more than a bit flabbergasted, I don’t find it all that surprising.

Countless people in the church are convinced that the Second Coming is imminent. As in Jesus is probably, no definitely coming back tomorrow.

Why are they so convinced? In a word, ok two words, terrible theology.

Don’t hear me wrong. I’m not saying expecting the Second Coming of Jesus is terrible theology. What I’m saying is turning the book of Revelation (or the Bible in general) into some sort of fortune telling playbook for the future is absurdly terrible theology that has plagued the church with tragic consequences ever since Americans invented the idea of the rapture right around the time of the First Great Awakening.

Since then Christians, particularly American Christians, have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to read prophetic tea leaves that simply don’t exist.

On the surface this may seem like a trivial issue. After all, Nicolas Cage remaking Left Behind may be a cinematic disaster, but it’s not hurting anybody, right?

While we’ll have to wait until that movie comes out to know just how catastrophic its effects on humanity will be, and I imagine they will be severe, the truth is that attitudes like we see displayed in the poster above are hugely problematic.

Why?

Because they have very real consequences.

The causes of global warming aside, the effects of global warming are devastating. To people. With homes. And families. And livelihoods.

In short, one person’s prophetic celebration, is another person’s catastrophe.

Or to put it another way, when we celebrate from the comfort and safety our prophetic armchairs something we’ve decided is a fulfillment of prophecy, what we’re really celebrating is a terrible flood destroying someone’s home, the financial ruin of a family after an ecological disaster obliterates their source of income, and the death of millions of men, women, and children from starvation brought on by epic droughts.

This is why theology matters.

When war, global devastation, and environmental ruin become things to celebrate as the “fulfillment of prophecy,” then not only do we ignore clear Biblical mandates to be peace makers and stewards of the earth, we who should be working to bring the kingdom of God to earth, instead, become villainous co-conspirators in the reign of evil and death.

This is what happens when we ignore Jesus’ declaration that “no man knows” the hour of his return.

These words aren’t simply a boundary line. Jesus’ isn’t saying “You can know everything about the future, except this one small detail.” In his prophetic declaration, Jesus is affirming his return, but he is also denouncing the sort of end times fervor the consumes so much of the church. When he follows this famous declaration with a command to “keep watch,” Jesus is not telling his followers to spend all their time trying to read the prophetic tea leaves. In fact, the opposite is true.

In his parable of the end of days that follows this famous declaration in Matthew 24, Jesus says the servant must care for the household which he has been entrusted with. We, the church, are those servants. The world is our household. If we are to be the wise and faithful servants Jesus calls us to be, then we must care for the world we have been entrusted with.

When, instead, our time is consumed by trying to decipher prophetic signs that don’t exist or, worse, when we celebrate the destruction of the household we have been entrusted with, then we become the wicked and lazy servant who will find his place with the hypocrites.

The sort of prophetic fervor that permeates so much of the church today, which sees prophecy around every corner and which celebrates moments of devastation and destruction as if war and global warming were benevolent signs from God, is not only misguided, it’s antithetical to a gospel which calls us to care for the world, to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, and defend the oppressed.

Which means our obsession with the end times doesn’t make us a holy people with privileged insight into the future.

It makes us lazy, wicked hypocrites.

 

Grace and peace,

Zack Hunt

13247typing copy

If you happened to find yourself on the internet on Monday, then chances are you may have heard about this tweet from Mark Driscoll.

Not surprisingly it caused a bit of a ruckus (as so many of the things he says do).

Also not surprisingly, people came out of the woodwork, not so much to defend him (though, of course, some did), but to attack people who had the apparent audacity to criticize him.

These sorts of attacks usually go one of two ways – either people like myself who critique celebrity preachers are accused of “attacking a man of God/another Christian”  or we’re attacked for conducting that critique in public.

Frankly, I’m not sure which is more ridiculous.

The former stems from fear of public perception, the idea being that if “outsiders” see Christians disagree with one another, then they’ll necessarily reject the gospel, because apparently all that’s standing in the way of someone like Richard Dawkins becoming a Christian is the church’s complete and total agreement on every issue of faith.

The mere fact that people continue to join the faith and have continued to join the faith despite two millennia of disagreement and disunion within the church, demonstrates that this fear is completely unfounded.

The latter attack stems from a fundamental misunderstanding or misreading of scripture that seems to believe that all disagreements within the church should happen outside the public sphere and behind closed doors. Not only does this sort of prescription appear nowhere in scripture, in fact, the very opposite is true.

Nearly every recorded instance we have of Jesus disagreeing with someone in the Gospels occurs in a public forum. Whether that public forum was the temple, a hillside, a town square, or just walking down the road, Jesus felt it completely acceptable (if not proper) to criticize his opponents and even argue with them in public.

And so did Paul.

Throughout the book of Acts we see Paul arguing for and against other believers in the public sphere. Moreover, the vast majority of the New Testament, Paul’s letters, became the vast majority of the New Testament because the squabbles they describe and respond to (and instruction they give) were fleshed out in public. The broader church saw the value in those letters as they were shared with whoever would listen, and thus (over time) they became canon.

In other words, the Christian faith is a public practice.

Because it is a public practice, the way the church conducts herself must change as the modes of public discourse change.

Jesus and the early church debated in the temple, town squares, and hillsides because that was the public forum of their today.

Today, the internet is our public forum. Through social media, blogs, and websites we are brought together in unprecedented fashion to share our beliefs, exchange ideas, and voice our disagreement when the need arises.

As we’ve seen in Libya, Egypt, and countless other places, this public exchange has the capacity to quite literally change the world.

Which means engaging this new arena of public discourse should be of utmost importance to the church if she is going to take Jesus’ call to go the the ends of the earth and make disciples seriously. The internet doesn’t replace flesh and blood discipleship, but it has a dramatic impact on the way all of us see, understand, and interact with the world.

In short, the world itself has changed and the church must change with it.

Even the leader of the oldest, most tradition entrenched Christian institution on earth realizes and embraces this technological revolution.

Of course, so do celebrity preachers.

And that’s were things get interesting, if not just flat out strange.

There appears to be this unspoken mentality among many church leaders, and especially their followers, that they are not accountable, at least not beyond their local church, for anything they say or do on the internet as if they were only speaking to their local congregation. I say they apparently feel this way because they rarely, if ever, take the opportunity to respond to the firestorms they create.

This is incredibly absurd and profoundly unchristian.

As I’ve already said and we all already knew, the internet connects us in unprecedented ways. As a result, it has a profound impact on how we think and talk about everything, including, if not especially, the faith. The church has always been connected on a spiritual level, but now the sinews of the Body of Christ are fused together in tangible ways that the apostle Paul could never have imagined, the potential of which we are just not beginning to imagine.

And this is why what one Christian says on the internet matters, particularly when that one Christian is a celebrity preacher with a large following.

We are all in this thing called Christianity together. There is no such thing as “my church” that is somehow disconnected or autonomous from “our church.” What one of us says or does affects the rest of us because we all share the same identity: Christian. Sure, we may be free to choose the color of carpet in our own churches without any real ramifications for the broader church, but when we choose to engage the world outside the four walls of our local churches, what we say or do directly affects and is accountable to the rest of the church body.

To put it simply, the notion of Christian autonomy that pervades so much of the church today isn’t Biblical. It’s American. Worse yet, it’s antithetical to the fundamental ideas of Christianity: one Lord, one faith, one baptism.

Moreover, the very nature of the interconnected world we live in makes this sort of autonomy and the subsequent attempts at the privatization of the faith an intrinsic impossibility.

For good or ill we are all, both Christian and non-Christian alike, connected to one another and there is no going back.

Which means tweets and blog posts from celebrity pastors matter. And when they go viral they can have a significant impact on the church, which is exactly why we can’t bury our heads in the ground under the guise of “he’s not my pastor.”

“He” may not be, but as a fellow Christian “he” represents our faith (and us) to the world and if he does that in an unchristian, or worse yet, abusive, way, then we as fellow believers have an obligation to stand up and say something about it.

It’s not that celebrity preachers are accountable to the internet, an admittedly rather abstract concept. Rather, the reason they are accountable for their tweets and posts is that very real people make up the online community they are broadcasting too, many members of which are Christians who, as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, they are very much accountable to…..which makes it inexplicable that so many of them have the apparent arrogance to think they are not obligated to respond to outrage when it arises in response to something they have said or done. If you have enough time to start the conversation, then you have the time (or must find the time) to respond when the conversation takes a turn for the worse. Otherwise you are being utterly irresponsible and reckless with the gifts God has given you as a leader of God’s people.

In the face of their silence, if we as Christians care about the message that is being preached and the image of Christ that is being portrayed to the world, then we absolutely and unequivocally have a responsibility to speak out. After all, if we are truly members of a royal priesthood, then we have both the scriptural authority and obligation to do so.

Where should we speak?

Where the conversation is happening: on Twitter, Facebook, blogs, etc.

It simply makes no sense when church leaders begin a conversation (which is the purpose of tweets, Facebook statuses, blog posts, etc.), for other Christians to respond to that conversation somewhere else. I don’t mean the conversation shouldn’t also continue offline. I mean the idea that seems to pop up whenever celebrity preachers like Mark Driscoll or John Piper or whoever say something outrageous, namely that Twitter, Facebook, or blogs are the wrong place to engage the conversation that started in those very same places, is utterly absurd.

The world has changed.

The internet is the new public square.

Just like Jesus, Paul, and the rest of the early church, we must have these conversations in the open for all to see, warts and all, both for the sake of accountability, but also in hopes that maybe in the midst of our passionate conversations and debate, the Truth will arise, others will see that Truth, and begin to ask us questions.

And therein lies the beauty of our changing world.

We may not all have the money to travel to the ends of the earth, but with a basic computer and internet connection each and every one of us can proclaim to good news to every corner of creation.

There are certainly some inherent risks in that opportunity, but ultimately it allows the Christian faith to be a faith defined by the Body of Christ, rather than a few celebrity preachers.

And that is a very, very good thing.

 

Grace and peace,

Zack Hunt

 

 

Jesus Tattoo Of The Day

Zack —  January 23, 2013 — Leave a comment

Few people know that the Shroud of Turin is actually an American flag.

jesus tattoo

Jesus Galifianakis

Zack —  January 22, 2013 — 2 Comments

This has apparently been out there for a while, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it, so I’m sharing it because I think it’s hilarious.

And before anyone comes out of the woodwork to cry “blasphemy!”, this is not blasphemy.

No one in claiming Zach Galifianakis is Jesus.

Nor is anybody making fun of Jesus.

Whoever created this image is just pointing out the striking and hilarious resemblance between Zach and this portrait of Jesus.

jesus-galifianakis

 

 

inauguration2013_headline

Today officially marks the unofficial start to President Obama’s second term as President of the United States.

It goes without saying that there are just about as many people upset about today’s festivities as there are those chanting “four more years.”

We have a long standing tradition in the United States of being critical of the President. It’s been going on since the dawn of the country and probably won’t be ending any time soon.

But what if it did?

At least for Christians.

What if for these next four years we as Christians pulled back from all the rhetoric and instead invested that energy into proclaiming good news?

What if we took seriously our call to pray for the President and stopped pretending like he was the anti-Christ?

What if we stopped placing our hope for the future in the passage of legislation and instead lived as if we believed we really are citizens of a different kingdom?

What if instead of defending our right to violence, we found the courage to wage peace?

What if we allowed the person on the other side of the aisle to be a person instead of our soulless enemy?

What if helping others in need, regardless of their circumstances, was something we stopped arguing about and, instead, became something we started taking as seriously as Jesus did?

What if the alien among us became someone to defend and care for, rather than a economic threat?

What if for Christians social media became a place to share words of hope, rather than an arena for destroying our political adversaries?

What if the church was a place of hope, compassion, and unity for the nation, rather than a source of division?

What if we had the audacity to allow the the Gospel to take precedence over the Constitution?

What if we put to rest being “Democratic Christians” or “Republican Christians” and, instead, for the next four years we were simply “Christians.”

What would happen?

To be honest, I don’t know.

But I have to imagine that if we decided to put more energy into being authentic Christians rather than de facto politicians, then four years from now the world would be a much better place than it is today.

 

Grace and peace,

Zack Hunt

 

 

I’ve posted plenty of stuff over the past couple of years from the one and only William Tapley, aka The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse.

But if you’ve somehow managed to miss them, or you just skipped over them, now is your time to remedy that mistake.

If you have seen some of the Tapley posts, then you’ll probably recall that he has been featured on both Anderson Cooper’s Ridiculist as well as The Colbert Report. Both of those appearances were due in no small part to the Third Eagle’s epic expose of the demonic phallic imagery at the Denver International Airport.

Well, now Tapley as turned that prophetic expose into a music video.

Seriously you need to watch this.

It’s just. Wow.

You’ve gotta fight….

For your right

To haaaaavvveee

Church!

Ok, that was terrible. My apologies.

Last year Kevin James starred in a movie called Here Comes the Boom in which he played a school teacher who became a MMA fighter into to raise desperately needed money for his school.

Now a pastor in Valdosta, GA seems to be turning fiction into reality.

I know what you’re thinking.

How did Mark Driscoll not think of this first?!

Original story here