Are you worried about your pets being “left behind” after the rapture?
Well, have no fear because your atheists neighbors are here to help! Presenting……
Yes this is a real thing, at least in the sense that they would be happy for you to sign and contract and take your money. Of course, at that point they are legally bound to take care of your pets should Jesus decided to leave them behind. And we all know most lawyers don’t have a soul so there should be plenty of them around to enforce the contract.
Personally, I was heartbroken and shocked to see great Stephen Colbert go down so early. Come on voters!
Oh well, as Colbert would say: “the market has spoken.”
Here are your Egregious 8:
Ted Haggard 80%
Westboro Baptist 81%
Ron Luce 69%
Jack Chick 88%
Pat Robertson 69%
Rick Warren 91%
Joel Osteen 62%
May 21, 2011 81%
And here are your bracket leaders:
1. Yoav Lubelsky – 31 points
2. Schuyler St. Lawrence – 27 points
3. Tim Hickman – 26 points
(If you think we miscounted your bracket, then please feel free to let us know in a KIND email and we will recheck our math. However, please double check your emailed bracket first and make sure it wasn’t blank when you sent it to us. We would have replied to that issue earlier, but honestly we just looked at the bracket today. Apologies for that.)
REMEMBER: Voting for the Egregious 8 will begin on Monday at 9am CST, with the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse round to follow on Monday at 1pm CST.
Apparently they do “pole fitness” while listening to contemporary Christian music. You can’t make this stuff up.
Pole Dancing for Jesus
Kristin Kane – FOX26 News
HOUSTON – Pole dancing as a workout is nothing new. Over the past few years, independent studios have popped up all over the country, but there is a very unique type of pole dancing class here in our area.
It’s called Pole Fitness for Jesus.
You’re probably thinking: “How on Earth can you mix pole dancing with Jesus?”
According to one studio in Spring, you can definitely mix the two.
“I was actually a dancer for 3 years, probably 7 years ago or so. I did it for awhile, it’s not something I felt very rewarded with, but to each his own and it was just something I decided I didn’t want to do anymore so I decided to take the part that I liked about that and bring it here but it’s so much fitness, I don’t teach women to be strippers,” said owner/instructor of Best Shape of Your Life Crystal Deans.
Every 2md Sunday of the month, Crystal Deans invites female church-goers into her pole dancing studio.
“On Sundays, we do pole fitness for Jesus. We do the upbeat contemporary Christian music because people have to bring their church program to get into the class, so we basically are just continuing the whole worship thing here.”
There first four rounds will be broken up into 3-hour voting blocks. During that time you can vote for who you want to win each matchup as many times as you want.
Winners for each round will be announced as soon as I can get them posted following the end of each voting session .
The Egregious Eight and Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse rounds will take place on Monday following the same schedule as Friday. The Championship matchup will be on Tuesday with voting lasting all day. The bracket winner will be announced along with the tournament champion on Tuesday after the voting ends.
If you’ve got any questions, just ask them in the comment section below and we’ll try to answer them.
Remember that voting is open to EVERYONE regardless of whether or not they entered a bracket. So, if you want to help yourself send as many people over to vote as you can!
AMERICAN JESUS MADNESS SCHEDULE (all times as CST!!)
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
**YOU HAVE UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT TO TURN IN YOUR BRACKET!!**
Are you tired of hearing “Your Bible is a weapon against the enemy!” because you get frustrated not having the ammunition to put that weapon into action?
Well, worry no more because Ray Comfort and his buddy Kirk Cameron are here to help.
Good ‘ole Ray has grown tired of getting sidetracked by minor issues when he debates people (you know, minor issues like “facts”) and he’s guessing you feel the same way too. So, Ray has put together The Evidence Bible which will allow you to quickly flip to the “answers” you need to defeat your opponent and shame them with their own stupidity into becoming a Christian.
Of course, it’s the King James Version so you know it’s authoritative. Well, actually its the NEW King James, so it’s only slightly authoritative.
Either way, if you’re looking for quicker, easier way to beat co-workers and strangers over the head with the Bible then this Bible is for you!