If our interview with the May 21st people didn’t convince you of the return of our Lord, then perhaps this little ditty might do the trick.
I don’t see why it wouldn’t. These guy’s enthusiasm for the second coming is infectious!
Archives For Rapture
I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t wished for a Tapley response to the May 21 Rapture crowd. Well, praise the whore of babylon he has!
The Third Eagle William Tapley reveals to us that Camping is a punk and a false prophet. All hail Tapley!
As we continue the countdown to Judgement Day on May 21st we bring you yet another sign of the coming apocalypse.
Do you know what the first Google search result is for church??
That’s right, Mark Driscoll is the top result for “church”!!
If “Pastor Mark” is the top definition of what looks like, then surely Jesus is coming quickly to reclaim her church and save her from the insanity, arrogance, and closet fundamentalism that is Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill Church.
With this latest sign we here at American Jesus are beginning to seriously consider the possibility that Jesus may in fact return on May 21st. After all, if this is what the church looks like or what people want it to look like, then we say “Come quickly Lord Jesus!”
On a better note, though, there may be a counter sign of the apocalypse in this sign of the apocalypse.
The number 3 Google search result for “church” is Church’s Chicken and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with some fried chicken. Mmmmmm……
**Although true fried chicken connoisseurs know that the best chicken on the face of the planet is at Gus’ Fried Chicken in Memphis, TN. If you disagree then you either 1)have never been blessed to experience Gus’ culinary delight or 2)you are a bigger “heretic” than Rob Bell and love will definitely not win for you!)
Franklin Graham: You’ll see Jesus’ return on Twitter, YouTube
By Cathy Lynn Grossman, USA TODAY
Charge your batteries, folks. You won’t want to miss the Second Coming of Christ, arriving on the clouds, on Twitter or YouTube.
Evangelist Franklin Graham tells ABC’s This Week host Christiane Amanpour:
The Bible says that every eye is going to see (the second coming). How is the whole world going to see (Jesus Christ) all at one time? I don’t know, unless all of a sudden everybody’s taking pictures and it’s on the media worldwide. I don’t know. Social media could have a big part in that…
Everybody’s got their phone up and everybody’s taking recordings and posting it on YouTube and whatever and sending it to you, and it gets shown around the world.”
Maybe this is not a surprising conclusion by the son of Billy Graham, the now-retired world-traveling evangelist who made a global mark using every medium available to spread the Good News.
I’m not going to lie. I was watching this video alone in my office and it actually scared me.
Not the “AHH!!! I’ve been left behind!!” scary, but the “I didn’t see that coming and almost jumped out of my seat” scary.
So, I’m a wimp. Either that or the Holy Spirit is telling me to get my act together so I won’t be left behind.
Since I think the “rapture” is a load of 18th century theological garbage I’ll choose the former.
Are you worried about your pets being “left behind” after the rapture?
Well, have no fear because your atheists neighbors are here to help! Presenting……
Yes this is a real thing, at least in the sense that they would be happy for you to sign and contract and take your money. Of course, at that point they are legally bound to take care of your pets should Jesus decided to leave them behind. And we all know most lawyers don’t have a soul so there should be plenty of them around to enforce the contract.
So, hurry on over to their website because you may only have 2 months from today before the rapture happens!
(Thanks to my friend Zack for sending us the link)
Well, you can add May 21 to the list of dates that the rapture will happen. Say what you want about this guy, but he is ready to field all questions…
Forget about A Thief in the Night
Today on Fundie Friday we’re taking you all the way back to 1941 for what surely has to be one of the first rapture movies in the history of film.
Presenting: The Rapture
It’s good that we found this movie when we did because according to the opening “the greatest prophecy in the Bible is not far from fulfillment!”
I wonder if this product can be sent as a gift?
If so, I would love to see what kind of video the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse would make after opening “Rapture in a Can”.
